


Sunlight or Moonlight

by targaryenziam



Series: Ready or Not [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A lot of Haechan flirting with Taeil, Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Past Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Some Romance, Tiny bit of pining, haechan and johnny are brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29426496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/targaryenziam/pseuds/targaryenziam
Summary: Taeil breaks up with Johnny because he won’t propose, and Donghyuck comes to talk to him. The two of them unravel from there and eventually Taeil comes to face the fact that he had almost chosen the wrong brother.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Series: Ready or Not [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161641
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Sunlight or Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> hello, so this is a work that is a part of a two parter series i am working on! but you can read it on its own, it's a separate standalone from the main universe for my other fic and is just sort of like a lighter what if scenario that i couldnt help but write. i ended up finishing it earlier than my main fic so i figured why not just post it jdkjs. and yes, i did make johnny and haechan brothers and both rich for reasons. also credits to the fic title to boom by 127. for any warnings, there is a teensy lil scene of a kiss that could be considered cheating but it does not go any further than that so if anyone is not comfortable with that, this is a warning. anyways please enjoy and leave a comment if u like it!! thanks~

Taeil is going through pain he had never imagined.

“He wouldn’t propose,” he gets out thickly into the phone. He’s standing in his house, standing over the stove and gripping the counter as if it’ll calm him any. It doesn’t. “I don’t know what I did wrong, Jungwoo. I did everything. I told him I wanted to start a family, I even hinted my fucking ring size. And he still wouldn’t tell me why he didn’t want to marry me. It’s like I don’t even know him anymore.”

Jungwoo’s tinny voice echoes back into his ears over the phone. “Did you ask him why he wouldn’t tell you anything?”

A tear slips down Taeil’s cheek and his hand flicks up to swipe at it as he sniffles. “I did. And he still just begged me to not leave. He didn’t say anything else. I—it’s the lies and secrets I can’t take if anything. Even his little brother is more honest with me than he ever has been. Do you know how bad that hurts?”

“Oh, babe, do you need me to come over? I can take the day off. I can ask my boss to leave early,” Jungwoo replies back with sympathy in his soft voice. “I don’t like hearing you so upset, hyung.”

Taeil shakes his head, trying to steel himself and stand up straighter. He counts to three before letting out a breath so it won’t feel like he’s about to dangerously break into more sobs. “It’s okay, Woo. I don’t want you missing any more work. Just come over after your shift, okay?”

“Okay,” Jungwoo says. “But only if you promise me to take care of yourself. Eat something, Illie. I know you. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

Taeil’s lips rise in an attempt at a smile even if they falter immediately afterwards, his eyes still wet.

“Yeah, yeah,” he gets out in a faint laugh. “Bye, Jungwoo.”

“Bye, babe! Cheer up. You don’t need assholes like him anyway. Maybe this is a sign. Love you.”

“Love you too,” he whispers into the phone, sniffling as he presses the end call button. His phone smacks gently against the kitchen counter as he sets it down without a care, too upset to even care about breaking it anymore. He didn’t care about potentially cracking the screen. Not when he was so devastated it was hard to not crumble in pieces like everything in him so wanted to.

He had thought Johnny had been the one. He had really thought this time he had found the man of his dreams.

Taeil’s eyes water up against his will as he turns away from the counter, to where his phone laid. When it rings in an unmistakable ringtone, he doesn’t bother even look back at it even once. He wouldn’t answer Johnny no matter how many times he called. He’d been getting calls all day.

This time he wasn’t going to take back his ex-boyfriend. He was done with taking back men who didn’t want to commit to him. Johnny was only the last in a line of boyfriends who had wasted his time because they hadn’t wanted anything serious. As much as his heart panged miserably in his chest and it felt like he could barely breathe, he wasn’t having it anymore. There was simply no way he was going back to Johnny.

Taeil was done with everything. He was done with him.

He just wished it didn’t hurt so badly to do so.

By the time he’s curled himself up in a ball on his couch, he’s become numb to the outside world. His tv had been switched off long ago, the quiet hum of his washing machine from where he had done laundry a while ago and the noise of distant traffic outside his window mere background noise in his head. Taeil just lies there in a fetal position on his cushions, trying not to be reminded of how he felt so alone. Of how he had failed once more.

He’d never get anyone to love him. He’d thought Johnny had, but when it came to push and shove he’d refused to tell Taeil anything about himself or his family. He’d deflected all his questions on why he couldn’t commit and instead pleaded for him to not leave him. Taeil had thought as he had stood in Johnny’s spacious apartment and looked his boyfriend in the eyes that maybe Johnny had never loved him. Because otherwise he wouldn’t be so secretive about everything. It wasn’t like Taeil had never hid anything. He’d laid all of himself bare for Johnny to see only for Johnny to shut him out when he’d needed it most.

That was how most of his relationships went in the end. Taeil falling more only for the other person to not care as deeply as him. Every time he even let himself get the slightest inch vulnerable and start considering a future with someone, he’d find out through some way or other that he had been the only one invested in it. The only one who had wanted anything remotely serious. It never ended well—most of his breakups had been bitter. It was the thing about unrequited love; in an ironic twist it seemed like it’d be all he’d ever get in life. Johnny Suh-Lee had been only the latest chink in a line of cracked pieces of relationships Taeil had left behind.

He just wished it hadn’t felt so real this time. Taeil watches blankly as his cat crawls from where she had been resting on the opposite couch beside him to curl up beside him, as if sensing his need for comfort.

It’s then that his miserable thoughts are cut off by a loud knock on his door.

Beside him, Taeil’s cat startles at where she had been making herself comfortable and his fingers had been rubbing at her fur. His head spins over to the door with surprise. He hadn’t been expecting anyone. Not until later, anyway.

He’s hesitant to get off of his side and off of the couch, soothing his cat subconsciously with a quiet shush as he stares at the door. He didn’t want to answer it if it was Johnny. It couldn’t be anyone other than him.

Another knock comes again, and his throat is heavy as he swallows. He steps forward slowly towards the door, ready to prepare himself to back away if it is his ex-boyfriend behind it attempting to beg for him back again. He was not afraid to use his yelling voice.

However, when he gets close enough to peek through the peephole in the door, it’s not Jungwoo stood behind his door nor is it Johnny. It’s his younger brother. “Taeil, it’s me,” Donghyuck Suh-Lee calls through the door, and Taeil’s eyes widen at the sight of him.

“Why are you here, Donghyuck?” Taeil doesn’t open the door. He only pulls back and keeps his hand still on the lock. “For the last time I’m not taking Johnny back. You don’t have to do his arguing for him.”

“Oh, believe me. I’m not here for that, sweetheart.”

Taeil frowns at that, annoyed as usual. He can’t help but unlock the door and open it to Donghyuck’s figure in front of him and glare at him. “I see you’re still talking to me like I’m not older than you.”

Donghyuck’s familiar face breaks into a smile at his words. Taeil doesn’t like the sight of it. If there was one thing Donghyuck and his ex-boyfriend shared in common, it was their charming smiles and handsome features. Albeit even if Donghyuck didn’t look and sound rather much like Johnny at all with his honey voice and shorter height. “That’s what got you to open the door? Wow, remind me to call you sweetheart more often.”

Taeil isn’t amused by his teasing smile. “What are you doing here at my house, Donghyuck?”

“I came to visit to check up on you,” Donghyuck says simply in a light tone, raising up a plastic bag in his hand that Taeil hadn’t noticed. He’s dressed in a stylish black coat that looks more fit for a runway than the chilly weather outside, a matching black baseball cap on his head pushing his warm brown locks down to near his eyebrows. Taeil wonders if he’s aware of how naturally handsome he is sometimes, how he can wear the most casual of combinations of clothes and still look elegant. Considering from what he knows of Donghyuck he’s pretty certain he is aware.

Taeil’s eyes narrow at the bag in his hand, hand still on the door. “You just stopped by randomly to visit?” He doesn’t care to hide his disbelief.

“Well, no,” Donghyuck admits after a moment, dropping his bag back down to his side. “I did get the take out first. That was pretty important.”

“Of course, what everyone does when they visit their brother’s ex and show up uninvited at their door,” Taeil replies dryly, “naturally.”

It’s a comment that should warn him off, but Donghyuck only blinks and starts laughing once he hears him. He barely contains himself before raising his hand to offer out the bag to him. “If it’s any consolation, I also think my brother is an ass. Allow me. I heard what happened. I bring food.”

He shouldn’t, but the smell of hot food coming from the bag has Taeil wavering. He looks between Donghyuck and the bag, torn between himself over whether how far he was willing to go for free food. If he was willing to tolerate having his ex-boyfriend’s brother in his apartment over the scent of fresh take-out wafting over to him.

At last, he crumbles. He is only a man. It’s with a careful hand that he takes the bag from Donghyuck’s outstretched hand, ignoring when their fingers brush against each other’s as he steps back to allow him in. He meets Donghyuck’s eyes warily. “Fine. You can eat the food with me, but that’s it.”

Donghyuck smiles as if he couldn’t be more glad to hear it, treading easily past Taeil into the apartment as if he owned the space. “Ah, I knew you’d be so generous. Would it be too much to say you’re still gorgeous as ever, Moon?” His eyes are lit up with a mischievous glint as he turns to look back at Taeil before disappearing into the kitchen.

Taeil only stares back at the spot he had disappeared around as he closes the door behind him, shaking his head ruefully. What had he gotten himself into?

“The forks are in the right drawer,” He finds himself calling out tiredly to him, cursing to himself as he follows the entrance hallway back to the kitchen. His ex’s brother was in his apartment. There was no way to escape it now that he had let him in like some weak hungry fool.

_Wow_ , he thinks with surprise as he catches himself. _Maybe I am growing bitter these days_.

Donghyuck’s eyes are relieved once they see him round the corner into the kitchen, to where he has apparently found Taeil’s cat and is petting her from where she has climbed up onto the counter to inspect the new intruder. His lips are curved up in a fond smile as he looks back down to his cat. “Daisy still likes me,” he proclaims gently with a sort of pride, watching as Taeil sets down the bag of take-out on the nearby counter. “You know they say cats like handsome people?”

Taeil raises his eyebrows at him, ripping open the top of the plastic bag and taking out the boxes with ease. He can’t help but roll his eyes. “I see you’re still full of it, Hyuck.”

“It’s true,” he gets in return from where Donghyuck is leaning down to coo at Daisy who only eagerly arches back into his touch and closes her eyes in enjoyment. Taeil’s mouth almost drops open at the sight of such a betrayal. “Isn’t it, baby?” Donghyuck is beaming at the cat as he pulls her into his arms.

It’s almost offensive to see his cat going so easily to a stranger she’s only met a few times. His pet barely liked people, and Taeil lets out a noise of surprise when he sees his Daisy curl into Donghyuck’s arms like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Yah, are you trying to over on my cat?” He can’t help but squawk at the other man.

Donghyuck’s smirk is smug as he turns to raise one of Daisy’s paws at him with a little adorable wave. “Well she can’t help it. She’s always liked me best. She knows I’m handsome.”

“God knows why,” Taeil says wryly as he begins to open the take out boxes and his stomach grumbles a little at the smell of hot steaming food. “She didn’t even like Johnny at first.”

He doesn’t mean to let it slip, but he’s so used to casually mentioning his ex-boyfriend around Donghyuck that he barely realizes what he’s said until after a moment passes and his words sink in. He stops at where his hand is opening a box and it isn’t until Donghyuck’s soft laugh fills his ears that he snaps out of his daze.

“That’s because we’ve never had a cat,” Donghyuck tells him. “My brothers never cared to get one. I always wanted one, though.”

Taeil reaches out a box towards him that he assumes is his food. He can’t help but feel a little ache in him at the mention of Johnny. It’s a little raw for him yet so he settles for keeping his eyes down and away from Donghyuck. “We can eat on the couch if you want.”

Surprisingly, Donghyuck’s smile falters a little as if able to sense the reason behind Taeil suddenly going quiet. There’s a quiet thud as he seems to set Daisy on the ground and go quiet himself. “On your lead then,” he speaks up then, a kindness in his strong voice. “Your house, Moon.”

It’s then that Taeil can be grateful for one thing. Unlike Johnny’s deep voice, his brother’s sounded completely different. It had an almost sweet airiness to its natural tone where Johnny’s was like smooth dark molasses. He finds he likes and has developed an appreciation for it more than he had before where small things like that hadn’t mattered. It was as starkly different from his brother as night and day.

It was refreshing for a change.

Taeil only ends up nodding in return, the two of them bringing the food over to the couch where they set it up on the coffee table near it. Donghyuck seems to mind his desire for silence until their hands end up bumping into each other’s trying to grab onto the same fork.

Taeil’s body stills at the touch of Donghyuck’s hand on his, surprised at the tingle he had felt there. The same one he had felt earlier when letting him in. When his eyes flick up to Donghyuck on instinct, he finds his warm eyes already crinkling in a laugh as he pulls his hand away from his as if unaffected. “Oops. You can have that one, hyung.”

For some reason, the sight of Donghyuck’s smile so close to him has him startling back from where they had unintentionally gotten so close. He ends up scooting back onto the cushion from where he had leaned into Donghyuck without noticing and clearing his throat. He can’t help but feel a little embarrassed.

“Thanks,” he says without thinking, reaching for the fork now that Donghyuck wasn’t so close to him. The sudden tension between them has him scrambling for anything to fill the silence. “Here. I can turn on the tv.”

Donghyuck settles back beside him, a box of food in his hands as he seems to be amused, raising his eyebrows at him. “Am I scaring you that much? My brother did a number on you, huh?”

That has Taeil pausing from where he was about to reach for the remote. He looks at Donghyuck. His face stills at the thought of Johnny. “Your brother is not someone I’m on speaking terms with right now.”

“Believe it or not you’re not the first to say that,” Donghyuck just quips back at him, smiling ruefully. He swallows a bite of vegetables, snorting in dry amusement. “I’m just sorry it had to be you.”

“Why?” He can’t help but ask. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, I mean, I love my brother but I did mean what I said earlier. He is kind of an asshole.”

Taeil doesn’t expect the surprised laugh that comes out of him. Donghyuck’s eyes seem to light up at his laugh, and for a moment the air between them feels lighter.

“Alright, you can stay,” he finds himself saying to Donghyuck, a smile rising on his lips for the first time all day. He doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it until he realizes his body feels lighter with the way his mouth is spread in a smile. “Just for that.”

“Good,” Donghyuck tells him sweetly, not afraid to make an exaggerated sigh of relief as he makes himself even more comfortable on Taeil’s couch. “I’m too rich to be on the street. I barely made it over here myself.”

Taeil only rolls his eyes at him, and finds himself eating more eagerly as Donghyuck begins ranting about the trouble he had ordering from a restaurant, not even noticing the way the weight on his shoulders seems to lift the more he listens to him talk. He even forgets about his own troubles for a moment.

Donghyuck’s voice grows loud and dramatic as he retells his story, and Taeil at last relaxes into him. The thought of Johnny is far from his mind as his eyes lie on Donghyuck.

He can’t help but feel like he’s being comforted.

****

Soon, Johnny stops calling and Taeil picks himself back up from his little slump over their break-up. Jungwoo makes sure to pop by his place often and take him out more in his attempt to bring Taeil out of the house more, to _get yourself out there Taeil, Johnny was just one man_ , and that he doesn’t have it in him to fight. He keeps going back to work, and things eventually return back to the normal they had been before his and Johnny’s breakup. He begins to smile and laugh more. He begins to regain his normal self back, and it must show to his friends because even Yuta stops threatening to murder Johnny for him and stops checking up on him so incessantly. Johnny’s voicemails stop filling up his mailbox and he feels like things are beginning to look up once more.

And of course, there is Donghyuck.

It’s become a habit for him to pop over at Taeil’s place unannounced to the point where most times when he gets a surprise knock at the door he opens it with the expectation that it is Donghyuck. And it always is. Each time he comes over, he just stands there at Taeil’s door with a bashful smile and an offered bag of food. It becomes a regular thing between them, strangely enough. Him and his ex-boyfriend’s brother. But he finds most that he and Donghyuck actually get along more than he had initially thought. That whenever he has a bad day because everything gets too much and he’s reminded of how he’s still alone, Donghyuck is often there to make him laugh and chat with him about his day. And as a bonus, he surprises him each time with different foods from different places.

“Why do you keep buying me food and coming here just to talk to me?” Taeil can’t help but ask him one day when Donghyuck brings him a chocolate tart from a bakery. He’s a bit flustered by it.

Donghyuck only smiles at him as he always does. “Why not, hyung?”

And Taeil can’t fight him on that. It has him speechless for once as he begins to think that Donghyuck was acting awfully like he was taking care of him. It’s his sneaking suspicion after he comments on Taeil’s habit of forgetting to eat and how he had to make sure someone fed him. It always gets an eye roll out of Taeil. He wasn’t sure why he let Donghyuck get away with talking to him like he wasn’t the younger one between them. He wasn’t sure why he even let Donghyuck visit him at all, actually. But without fail he shows up at his door every weekend and even on random days of the week. And Taeil lets him in.

After one evening when he comes home from a night out with Jungwoo and Yuta, he’s surprised to find a note at his door along with a bag of food on the floor. He finds himself in disbelief when he reads the note stuck to his front door.

_Missed you, honey. I brought you your usual dinner. xoxo your love Donghyuck_

“Oh my god,” he replies out loud as he gets in his apartment that night and carries the food and note with him. He can’t help but laugh at the audacity Donghyuck still had. It was like he had gotten worse with the casual flirting ever since he had stopped dating his brother. He doesn’t realize he hasn’t stopped smiling until Daisy is meowing at him for food when he walks into his kitchen. Then he groans as he rubs at his face, trying to get his heart to stop racing so fast in his chest. He’s almost _excited_.

Maybe he is beginning to lose his mind a little.

The next day, he’s at work when Yuta stops by his desk as usual to accost him. Taeil is just typing at his computer when his friend’s voice pops him out of his bubble. “Ooh, you’re smiling,” Yuta says as he pops up by his work desk, and Taeil jumps when he hears him.

He feels a bit like he’s been stunned when he looks up at his friend. Yuta has an interested feline like smirk on his face. “Yuta,” he starts. “Hi. You scared me.”

“I only scared you because you were smiling,” Yuta only continues. “So who is he?”

“Who is what?”

“The guy. The one you were off in your head about. You only smile like that when you have a crush.”

Taeil feels himself go still from where he has been caught by surprise. He hadn’t known he had been smiling. He had been thinking of the note Donghyuck had left him. Under Yuta’s knowing stare, his face begins to heat up to his horror. “I wasn’t thinking about anyone.” Especially not his ex-boyfriend’s little brother.

“Liar!” Yuta crows at him loudly. He pats the desk, smirking at him curiously. “You slut! You already found a man so soon after what’s his name? Oh, I am so hearing about this later. You’re not getting away from me, Illie.” Then he stalks off to his own desk with a proud beam, and Taeil watches him go with widened eyes.

Oh no. Perhaps he was in a little trouble here.

That very night, he receives a text. He’s just gotten home when his phone goes off in his pocket, and he’s confused when he lifts it out of his jeans to see a message from an unfamiliar looking number. It’s not a saved contact of his, and just reads _hey it’s me :)_.

He waits a bit before answering back, lounging lazily on his couch with his cat. _Who is this?_ He sends back after some thought, and watches as his message sits delivered for a minute before it shows up as read by the other number.

_it’s donghyuck. i hope you don’t mind but i stole your number from johnny’s phone lol_

Taeil’s thumb slips at where he had been ready to reply immediately. Donghyuck? He couldn’t help but get a little more nervous for some reason he couldn’t explain.

_Why are you texting me?_ He ends up settling for after a moment. His teeth dig into his bottom lip.

_why not? i figured we should have each other’s numbers so i don’t miss you like last time ;)_

A goddamn winky face. Was Hyuck trying to kill him? Taeil was pretty sure he was.

_Very funny. That little note you left was cute. You missed me because I had a night out with my friends_ , he replies.

_already moving on i see lol. good for you. and you’re welcome. anytime cutie_

Donghyuck couldn’t be serious. Taeil stares at his phone in shock. Had he always been this openly cheeky? He’s narrowing his eyes and letting out a flustered puff of air when there’s a loud knock. His head shoots up to the door. He stands up quickly, a little out of sorts despite himself. There’s a funny fluttering in his stomach and his heart is beating faster in his chest.

With a huff, Taeil opens the front door impatiently.

“Donghyuck, you have to stop with—“ The words already coming out of his mouth come to an abrupt stop when he raises his eyes to the person at his door. Because it’s not Donghyuck.

It’s Johnny.

“Donghyuck?” His ex-boyfriend asks in stunned surprise, dressed in a denim jacket and staring at him as if the name had choked him. Johnny’s eyes are wide as he visibly swallows and struggles to contain himself where he stands in his apartment building’s hallway. It’s strange to see him stood at his door again—where Donghyuck was around his own height, Johnny was much taller and broader. The sudden startling difference has Taeil’s mind reeling in slight shock as it feels like all the blood rushes out of his body.

“Johnny?” He gets out in pure disbelief. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Taeil,” Johnny says after a long moment, quiet and low. “I, um—Can I come in?”

Taeil’s heart is beating so fast out of his chest that he can barely think in his dismay. But he doesn’t budge still. “I—Why are you here? You know I don’t want to see you.”

Johnny's eyes grow pleading. “Please, babe. I’m just asking for a moment of your time.”

“And why should I give you that?” Taeil finds himself speaking up, the hurt buried in him rising up at the sight of him. His voice becomes harsher, unrestrained. How dare Johnny show up at his door like this? “Why should I give you anything when you never bothered to do anything for me?”

“I’m asking to give me a chance to explain,” Johnny goes on to insist with desperation. “I can—“

Taeil is so incensed that he doesn’t give him a chance to even continue. “I don’t want to hear it. You had your chance. Just go, Johnny.”

Johnny looks stricken.

“Taeil, listen if this is about marriage I have a ring right here,” he begs once more as he rushes to pull a box out of his pocket. It’s small and velvet, and Taeil’s eyes glue on it as he raises it to hold it up to show him. “Please, it’s been a month. I miss you.”

Something breaks in Taeil’s chest as he looks up to Johnny’s pleading face. It feels a lot like disbelief and hurt. “Do you even mean that? Or are you just saying that to get me to come back to you?”

“I mean it,” Johnny is saying but this time Taeil is wary to believe it. “Just let me explain. We can start over, we—“

“We can what? What about your family, John? The family you’re too ashamed to bring me around or tell me about? What about then if I married you? Stop. You and I both know you’re wasting our time. You don’t want to marry me. I don’t even think you love me like you think you do. Just leave.”

“I do love you, I want to start a family with you,” Johnny tries. “Taeil.”

Taeil has half a mind to slam the door on him and his ring. He can feel himself beginning to be upset. “Oh really? Then have you told your parents about me?”

The way Johnny opens his mouth and closes it in absolute silence tells him all he needs to know. Taeil couldn’t think the man in front of him could have hurt him even more, but maybe he’d been wrong.

Before he can hear anymore from Johnny, Taeil just sighs angrily and turns away from him in stewing silence. “Just like I thought. Just fucking go home, Johnny.”

He goes to shut the door on him, but he’s stopped by a hand on the door that keeps it from closing fully. When he looks up, it’s to a strained look in Johnny’s eyes from where he’s keeping it from being shut. “Why did you say his name?” His eyes are filling with tears as he stares at Taeil like he’s taken his heart in his hands and torn it in half. “When you answered me. You said—you said Donghyuck.”

Instead of answering him, Taeil only pushes the door back harder against his hand. He can’t bear to look at Johnny, not while thinking of Donghyuck. His jaw clenches. “Goodnight, John.”

“Taeil,” he hears cried out one last time before he manages to shove the door shut. It takes everything in him to lock the door and stand there, but Taeil somehow does it. If only just barely as he hears Johnny call his name painfully through the door once more. His feet nearly slip on his own floor when he staggers back slowly from it as if it’ll burn him.

It had felt like tearing himself in half shutting the door in Johnny’s face. If only burned him as well.

He ends up flinging himself onto his couch in his attempt to create distance between him and the door, to where he can still hear Johnny knocking desperately. He doesn’t trust a small part of himself to not go right back over to his door and open it. Taeil buries his face into a pillow, tears finally escaping from his eyes as he cries. It hurts so badly that he finds his mouth opening to let out heaving sobs that don’t even sound like him. He just lies there and waits for Johnny to leave, breaking inside.

It’s with blurry eyes that he opens them to hear his phone vibrating at his side where he had left it on the couch. When he grabs it, he sees that he’s missed a text from Donghyuck.

Donghyuck. Whose name Johnny had heard him call out. Donghyuck, Johnny’s brother.

Taeil’s eyes feel like they just won’t stop pouring tears.

_taeil?_ His latest text reads. _you there?_

_I’m here._ Taeil’s hands are shaky from where he rushes to text him back. _Sorry Johnny just showed up at my door I’m a little upset_

_what?? what did he want??_

_He showed up with a ring and wanted me to take him back. He’s never even told your family about me has he Hyuck_

There’s a pause where he can see Donghyuck typing before it stops and starts, a message popping up quickly. _im coming over_

Taeil stares at his text blankly. He’s still staring at it when five minutes later there is a frantic knock at his door. His body is shaking still when he clambers off his feet to go and unlock it, not even bothering to wipe the tears on his face. When Donghyuck stands before him when he opens it, he can’t help but sob out in relief. The sight of Donghyuck is almost comforting compared to Johnny earlier. He can’t help but wonder when Johnny had left.

“Taeil,” Donghyuck breathes out when he sees him, and it’s like Taeil folds.

Donghyuck’s arms rush forward to embrace him, comforting and warm around his body. Taeil’s own hands move to rest on his back, at the back of his thin jacket. There’s a scent that fills his nose then, one he had never noticed before. It’s a cologne of some sort, one that smells almost sweet and like warm cinnamon. Taeil is breathing it in as he holds onto Donghyuck.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Donghyuck’s soft voice murmurs in his ears, soothing. And Taeil’s never heard him so up close, but it has something melting in him.

“He heard me call your name,” Taeil says brokenly as he pulls back from Donghyuck, looking at him in the eyes as if he would help him. Donghyuck goes to shut the door behind him and helps steer him into the living room, where he follows him helplessly. He only sniffles and lets it out. “Hyuck, I—I thought it was you. At, at the door. He asked me why I said your name.”

He can see where Donghyuck bites at his lip roughly and seems to take in the new information with seriousness. “Well fuck. I’m definitely going to hear about this by tomorrow.”

“You never said,” Taeil tries, shaking as Donghyuck helps sit him on the couch. He can barely feel his leg from where it bounces anxiously on the floor. “If he knew about us. About you coming here.”

“I didn’t mean to keep it from you,” Donghyuck sighs out as he sits beside him and rests a hand on his thigh in comfort. His voice has grown tired. “I just didn’t know when to bring it up. I’m sorry. I was going to tell you sooner, but I know you don’t like to talk about him. Not that that’s an excuse. It’s not like I’m not going to be a dead man walking soon anyway.”

Taeil looks up at him through wet lashes at that. “So he didn’t know you came here?”

Donghyuck’s gaze at him is sad. “Taeil. My brother—he and I are complicated. But no. I didn’t tell him. I knew he’d get upset because, well—because it was you. He’s been torn up about this whole thing, hyung.”

“How do you think I feel?” Taeil whispers, shaken. His hand instinctively goes to clasp over Donghyuck’s on his thigh. “He—I finally thought he was the one. But it feels like I never knew him at all. I don’t think he even really loved me, Hyuck.” It comes out of him with a raw breath of air and he breaks at least, biting his lip to stifle a cry.

God it hurt to say it out loud.

“Oh, Taeil,” he gets whispered back at him in return in a tender murmur, and he doesn’t move as he feels Donghyuck pull him into his arms once more, his head laying to rest on his shoulder against his neck. One of Donghyuck’s hands grazes the skin of his arm and runs over it gently, as if to comfort him while Taeil lets himself sag into the warmth and steadiness of him. It’s nice—he had forgotten how it felt to be touched and held like this. Like someone cared about him.

“You’ll find someone better than him one day,” Donghyuck tells him fervently as if he really believed it. “I—I know I have no right to say this as his brother. But you’ll always deserve everything good in this world. You’ll always deserve a love you can be sure of.”

The conviction in his voice strikes something inside of him. The softness of it, the genuine feeling in the way his words sound. The way he almost sounds as if—

Taeil pulls back from him then, looking Donghyuck in the eyes and feeling the breath rush out of him once he sees the passionate warmth there. The emotion in his eyes that had always been there. That softness that he had never noticed before. He doesn’t pull away from him, instead swallowing as something rises in his chest at the way they’re so close to each other. He almost feels dizzy with the lack of space between them and the fact that Donghyuck is looking at him like he loves him.

It’s almost magnetizing, the way Taeil’s body thrums to be close to his. The way the sudden urge to inch closer to him vibrates in his bones. It’s then that his eyes fall to Donghyuck’s lips, to the smooth angles and curve of his nose and cheeks. To the beauty moles spattered like stars across Donghyuck’s cheeks, and to the warm eyes he’s always found comfort in. Donghyuck’s eyes. His full lips. He wonders when he had started noticing how attractive Donghyuck is, and realizes absently that it has been there for a while.

“Taeil,” Donghyuck whispers questioningly, perfectly still as he waits for Taeil to speak, probably wondering why he is being stared at. But Taeil doesn’t speak. He only looks at Donghyuck, realizes what the strange fluttering sensation in his stomach means. What the breathlessness in his chest every time he has seen Donghyuck at his door has meant all along. He suddenly wants to kiss Donghyuck. He wants to find out what he tastes like with all in him.

It’s heady, the feeling. The want he has for him. It hits him with all its strength in one breath.

He wants to feel his lips on his. To touch him.

And so he does.

“Tae—“ Donghyuck’s next word is cut off by a surge of Taeil’s lips against his, and then they’re kissing. And Taeil is making a noise as he finds that even his lips tingle pleasantly against Donghyuck’s. His eyes flutter shut involuntarily as he presses himself against Donghyuck, losing himself in the enticing feel of him.

Donghyuck moans into his mouth at once, eagerly kissing him back without hesitation. His hand grasps Taeil’s arm needily, as if to pull him closer. The sound of his moan is so pretty and airy that Taeil’s heart races faster at it. It’s unlike anything he’s ever heard before. Donghyuck tastes addictingly sweet on his lips, and it’s like once they’ve both started neither of them wants to stop. Taeil shivers when his tongue brushes against Donghyuck’s, and before he can even think he’s sat himself on Donghyuck’s lap, the heat and feel of his body under him wonderful. The noises Donghyuck makes when he kisses him is enough to make him want more, to draw more out of him. However, when one of his hands rush to Donghyuck’s waist and brush against a bit of skin under his shirt he finds himself being ripped away from the man in front of him.

“W—What are we doing?” Donghyuck is whispering quickly, almost fearfully. He’s pulled himself back from Taeil, to where their heads are close enough still that his warm breath puffs against Taeil’s lips. “Hyung, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“It’s you,” Taeil says out loud as he stares at him. “It’s been you all along.”

It’s stunning him to realize. The attraction he felt to Donghyuck had been there ever since day one. He’d always thought Donghyuck was handsome, had always liked him even though he’d thought he’d never been anything more than his boyfriend’s brother. The way he felt when he touched him—that had been there even when he’d been dating Johnny. He’d just ignored it, brushed it away and thought it was nerves. But now that he knew how it felt firsthand there was no denying it.

It’s a bit overwhelming to realize that the man that could have been his brother-in-law was someone he was very attracted to.

“No, no,” Donghyuck says, moving away sharply from him then. His hand reaches up to run through his hair in distress as he stares at Taeil like he’s done something wrong. “Taeil, this—this can’t happen. I—you should not be attracted to _me._ ”

“Why not?” Taeil asks then, until he freezes and sees something glint on Donghyuck’s left hand when he moves it. Then he feels something awful run through him as his eyes zero in on a ring on his hand. A wedding ring. “You’re married.”

He feels like he’s been punched.

Donghyuck is _married._

Donghyuck’s face twists as if he’s agonized and he stands up off the couch so suddenly it takes Taeil’s breath away. “Yes. To a man I don’t love, but yes. You don’t understand.” The sight of tears building in his eyes has Taeil’s heart stuttering. “It wasn’t by choice. Johnny was supposed to marry him. Not me. But then he left, and my father made me do it. I—I didn’t tell you but I should. I should have. I’m so sorry.”

A hand rises to Taeil’s mouth in pure shock. He had just kissed a married man. He—he had wanted to touch and kiss Donghyuck, who was _married_ —

“You never told me,” he gets out a thick throat, experiencing that awful urge to cry again. He could only take so much distress in one night. “You’re the one that came to _me_ , Hyuck.”

The words come out like a plea.

“I know, I didn’t realize—“ Donghyuck sounds near strangled. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I didn’t think. I didn’t think you were anyone but someone my brother had screwed over, but I just liked you and I felt bad for you and I—Mark, he and I have never loved each other. Oh god, him and Johnny are going to kill me.” His eyes are widening in panic as he seems to stop breathing.

“Do you love me?” Taeil finds himself asking him, suddenly feeling stricken by the way Donghyuck was looking so distressed. Even more than him. Like he hadn’t realized any of what he’d done.

He’d kissed Taeil back. There was no denying that. The way he looked at him—he’d never had anyone look at him like that before. Like the whole world had been in front of Donghyuck and he’d seen it in Taeil.

Johnny had never looked at him like that. No one had.

“Yes,” Donghyuck answers him instantly, pacing around the room, only to go totally still once it comes out of him. Like it’d surprised even him to hear it out loud.

Taeil stands up then, biting his lip as he approaches Donghyuck. He’s staring wide eyed at the floor, until Taeil’s hand strokes his cheek and pulls his head up to look at him. He’s still crying, and something clenches in Taeil’s chest at the tears running down his cheeks. Donghyuck stares at him like he’s never been held before, and based off of what he had said he can’t help but wonder painfully if this is the first time he has.

Based off the way he had rambled Taeil doesn’t think he’s ever been loved either.

“You’re married and you love me,” he says softly with acknowledgement, with a pain that gently runs through him. It feels more official saying it out of his own mouth. “Hyuck. Have you ever loved anyone before?”

“No.” Donghyuck trembles under his hand. “Taeil, in my family we don’t do this. We don’t just have people we _love_. It’s not a thing. I’m not sure if Johnny told you, but—“

Taeil cuts him off. “You and I both know Johnny never told me anything. But he’s also never looked at me the way you have, Donghyuck.”

A wrecked laugh comes out of Donghyuck. “You’re almost talking as if you love me, Moon.”

Taeil’s hand strokes the soft skin at his cheek softly, and it’s crazy, how Taeil thinks he feels so strong but so fragile under his hands. That he could break if he held himself any tighter. Some part of him can’t help but wonder if Donghyuck has always been this stressed mentally. Even if he is married, he thinks with a hard breath. Even if he was Johnny’s brother.

“There you go talking like I’m not older than you, Hyuck-ah,” he says, watching surprise flicker across the other man’s face. His voice sounds gentler than he’s ever heard it. “Come. I think you need some rest.”

He begins to lead Donghyuck into his bedroom with a firm hand that he wraps around his, but halfway there he’s stopped by Donghyuck pulling at him.

“Taeil,” he tries to stop him. “I mean, I’m flattered.”

At last Taeil’s lips break into a faint smile as he rolls his eyes back at him in a familiar exasperation. “I’m not sleeping with you, you fool. Even I have morals. I’m just not letting you go anywhere when you’re so upset.”

“Oh,” he gets in reply and Donghyuck goes quiet as Taeil tugs him into his bedroom, where the lights have been shut off and his furniture is cast in shadows. By the time he’s climbing into bed, Donghyuck only stands there uncertain at the other side of his bed as if not sure what to do with himself.

“Come lay down,” Taeil tells him after he flips the comforter over to make room for him. “I don’t bite. Unless you bite first.”

Donghyuck slowly lays down on the sheets at that, the moonlight from the nearby window casting a faint light to where he’s glancing aside worriedly at Taeil like suspicious on whether he really would make good on his words. He’s never looked so uncertain of his own movements, a complete contrast to his usual charming smug self. It takes a huff from Taeil to get him to fully lay down flat against the pillows, and he looks near gobsmacked when Taeil flicks the comforter back over the both of them.

“You’re so bossy,” he comments as he snuggles himself deeper under the blanket, and Taeil laughs.

“You love it,” Taeil replies in a sugary sweet voice, turning on his side to get a better view of Donghyuck. He can’t help but smile slightly when he sees Donghyuck turn his head to peer back at him, his eyes glimmering in the darkness around them. Taeil’s never seen someone as beautiful as Donghyuck.

He wonders how he had not seen it sooner. It’s heady to realize that he’s always distantly thought he was beautiful.

“You’re gonna not ever forget about that, huh?” Donghyuck says in a wry voice back to him, reaching a lazy arm out between them to relax further into the bed. “One of these days you’re gonna kill me, Taeil.”

Taeil feels his eyes drift lower at the dark around them, to where he finally is sinking into the sheets. It’s without thinking that he reaches out aimlessly to grab at Donghyuck’s hand on the blankets and take it in his own. There’s a sigh from near him as he holds onto him tighter. Donghyuck’s fingers are warm as they entangle with his and squeeze back.

“No one’s ever kissed me like you, even if you’re married,” Taeil whispers so quietly it feels like a secret leaves his lips as he drifts off to sleep. And by the time he’s out he’s thinking he’s dreaming as he feels a rustle of the sheets and a warm kiss pressed to his forehead. It’s so peaceful and soothing that he only curls more into the sheets.

He goes to sleep with the knowledge that he loves Donghyuck.

****

_“Taeil, babe,” Johnny begins at first with a nervous smile as he introduces the shorter man next to him who sits up at their entrance. They are in a restaurant that they’ve both made reservations at, a source of great anxiety for Taeil. This was it. This was the first of Johnny’s family he was meeting, his youngest brother from what he had been told. The brother Johnny was more close to, from what he could tell. “This is Donghyuck. Donghyuck, meet Taeil. This is my baby brother.”_

_“And you’re the boyfriend,” the man in front of him says with a friendly smile, his eyes lighting up at the sight of Taeil and looking between him and Johnny. He was pretty in a more soft way, Taeil’s brain notices immediately. Whereas Johnny was all bold suaveness, his brother seemed to be shorter and definitely just as handsome. He reaches out a hand to offer Taeil, bowing to him._

_Taeil bows back to him, startles a little when their hands meet and he feels a little shock there where their hands meet. Almost like a little tingle. He pulls back quickly, rubbing his hand discreetly on his pants when he gets the chance. Maybe it was the nerves getting to him. He hoped his hand hadn’t been sweaty or anything._

_“It’s nice to meet you, Donghyuck-ah,” he tells his boyfriend’s brother eagerly, smiling and flushing a little at the way Donghyuck looks him over appreciatively. “I’m so excited to finally meet Johnny’s family.”_

_Donghyuck just grins back at him. “Likewise. Johnny didn’t tell me you were so easy on the eyes.”_

_That gets a surprised laugh from Taeil, who watches as Johnny goes to playfully shove his brother and the two of them start wrestling with each other in front of him. It’s an amusing sight for him, almost reminding of when his friends would play fight with each other. At last, the two of them break apart with laughter and Taeil smiles fondly as they seat themselves at the table, Johnny next to him and Donghyuck across from them. Johnny reaches over to give a kiss to his cheek, and Taeil doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck glances at them in the corner of his eye._

_“So, Taeil, tell me, do you have a last name?” Donghyuck asks politely after a moment. “I mean, no offense. But as much as Johnny hyung has told me he hasn’t mentioned anything about what you do or your name.”_

_Taeil shoots a glance at his boyfriend before back to Donghyuck who only gazes at him with those warm eyes of his. He has rather pretty eyes, Taeil notices absently. It must be a family trait. “It’s Moon Taeil. I, ah, well I work in an office. Nothing special, really.”_

_“Moon,” Donghyuck notes out loud, tasting the name. He seems to like it when he hums with a growing smile. “I’ve never heard that before. You sound special for someone like my loser brother.”_

_“Yah, watch it. I can still kick your ass, you know,” Johnny joins in at last and Taeil laughs as he watches the two of them stare each other down playfully. And he smiles when he rubs at where his hand still tingles from where Donghyuck had touched him._

_He liked Donghyuck. Perhaps he hoped he’d see more of him in the future._

****

When Taeil wakes, it’s to a heavy weight draped over him.

There’s the sound of soft snoring in his ears. He stirs and blinks open his eyes to the sunlight in his room, and to where there’s the unmistakable weight of a body covering him where he lies sprawled on his back. When he becomes more awake and instinctively moves to try to wiggle his arms a little, he realizes that he is currently being used as a pillow by a sleeping Donghyuck. He stares at where Donghyuck’s head is tucked into his neck and his arm and leg is hanging heavy over Taeil. Oh. He hasn't woken up to someone sleeping on him in a while. It's a little startling to see the swoop of Donghyuck's thick eyelashes so close to his and where his lips are parted softly in his sleep. He looks almost angelic in the morning light and it has Taeil swallowing slightly as something settles in his rib cage at the sight of him. And then he promptly proceeds to get embarrassed.

He can feel something hard that wasn’t one of Donghyuck’s limbs poking into his side as well. When Donghyuck hums drowsily in his sleep and pulls him closer unconsciously, he realizes with total shock that the other man is hard against him. But he’s still sleeping, the little relaxed puffs of air being breathed into his neck letting him know that Donghyuck was out.

Taeil feels something aroused and very confusing heat up in his stomach once Donghyuck shifts against him, as if searching out for more contact. Oh God. He was not prepared for this. Definitely not after last night.

He tries to bite at his lip to keep silent as he pries Donghyuck’s arm off of him, only for his waist to rub against Donghyuck’s stiff bulge at his hip by accident. It’s then that he feels the very edge of it where it's brushed against him, and the resulting faint groan at his ear is enough to have Taeil’s heart jumping in his chest rapidly and for him to practically throw himself off of the bed.

He lands on the floor with a hard fall, groaning on his knees. He doesn't know how he has gotten to this point in his life. He is an adult. A full grown adult.

But yet the way he’s starting to stiffen up in his pants—which he had _slept in_ , he was going to so pay for that later—has him scrambling to stand up and get too hot in the face. He’s relieved to see Donghyuck still asleep on his stomach, sans Taeil. But then he begins to shift in the sheets when Taeil is trying to sneak over to the door, rousing and blinking awake when he looks around slowly. It’s only his luck that he happens to catch Taeil right as he’s almost into the hallway.

“Illie?” Donghyuck rumbles deeply, still raspy. He wipes at his face and groans as he struggles to sit up. “What time is it?”

Taeil is frozen. He stops and turns back to Donghyuck, whose eyes widen when he faces him. “I don’t know.”

“You’re—you have a little, uh,” Donghyuck starts out before halting and looking embarrassed as he seems to look down at himself. “Oh.”

“It’s fine,” Taeil says, laughing awkwardly. “I mean, it happens.”

Even though he looks a little flushed, Donghyuck laughs back at him.

“At least I know for sure you’re happy to see me,” he teases at last, and Taeil cannot believe this is his life. He ends up turning away sharply to hide the way he’s a little mortified. He’s still laughing nervously as he grabs a towel from a nearby hook.

“Um, make yourself comfortable,” he rambles, not quite looking at Donghyuck as he goes to open the bedroom door to the hallway and to where the bathroom was down the hall. “I—I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck just says, sounding like he was a second away from laughing again and Taeil nearly ends up rushing away out of the room. By the time he’s turning on the shower and stepping into it, he’s still groaning to himself. Not even morning afters with Johnny had felt quite as embarrassing as this.

Which—Oh wow had he gotten himself involved this time. He cannot say he’d never expected a point in his life in which he’d ever feel anything like this for one man, let alone one that was his ex-boyfriend’s brother. Oh, and married. Jesus christ. That was a lot to take in still.

He’s still taking it in as he steps out of the shower, glancing at himself in the mirror where his wet hair lies on his forehead and puffing his cheeks out exaggeratedly. At least his hard on has calmed down, he thinks as he pads back to his room. By the time he’s changed, he finds Donghyuck standing in the kitchen and trying determinedly to work his coffee maker almost like a child. It has him smiling a little despite himself.

“Having trouble there?” He asks, startling Donghyuck out of his daze. He turns to Taeil with a confused frown, still in his old clothes from the day before.

“I’ve never seen this kind of coffee maker,” Donghyuck admits, lighting up a little when he sees him. His mouth turns in a slight smile as his eyes lay on him. “I’ll be honest. Most of the time my coffee is just made for me.”

Taeil snorts at him, even if it is light. He just strolls right past Donghyuck and presses the coffee button, and the machine begins pouring into the mug already set below it as he raises his eyebrows at Donghyuck. “Are you telling me rich people can’t even work coffee machines?”

“Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea how helpless we actually are,” Donghyuck just replies to him, smiling wryly at him in amusement. “Thank you, by the way. For saving me from accidentally breaking your machine.”

Taeil laughs.

“You do realize I pressed a button.”

Donghyuck steps closer to him, a mischievous glint in his eye that is familiar. “I’m still grateful.”

For a moment Taeil grows breathless. Donghyuck is standing too close to him, looking at him in a way that made him go all sorts of funny inside. Like he wanted Taeil. He puts a hand on the counter behind him, trying to stable himself.

Then, by some relief Donghyuck seems to snap out of whatever they’ve both been sucked into and coughs loudly, stepping away from Taeil quickly. He puts space in between them, not meeting Taeil’s eyes as he reaches up to rub at his neck, looking as if he’s caught himself. “Sorry,” he says immediately, going almost bashful. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s fine,” Taeil answers, even if it doesn’t feel fine. He still feels short of breath from where he had thought Donghyuck was going to kiss him again. He’s not sure how he feels about it, the possibility that Donghyuck could have kissed him and he’d almost fallen right into it. “You—do you have work to go to?”

“No,” Donghyuck sighs out, sounding tired at the mention of it. “I don’t exactly have a set time in which I need to go in. My father owns the company. I mean, I could come in tomorrow and he’d just assume I’m on a drinking binge or something.”

That piques something in Taeil. He’d noticed a few times that Donghyuck would smell of alcohol whenever he’d visit him sometimes, but he’d still seemed perfectly sober so he’d never brought it up. “Is that something you do? Drink a lot?”

Donghyuck seems surprised that he’s asked him that question. He’s reaching for the mug of coffee from the coffee maker when he hears it and glances so sharply up at him that Taeil knows he’s hit a nerve. “What gave it away? The fucked up family or the fact that I just said my family assumes I have drinking binges?” He almost looks nervous despite the casual way he tries to speak.

Taeil just looks at him—he didn’t want to compare, but as far as he knew of Johnny he’d never had a problem with drinking or had even mentioned anything about Donghyuck having one either. Johnny didn’t seem like a secret drinker either, but he hadn’t seemed so high strung as Donghyuck either. Not like how Donghyuck had been last night when he’d been upset. He wonders if anyone has ever even questioned Donghyuck about it before either.

“No, you smell like alcohol sometimes,” he admits softly, “when you visit. But you always seem fine. I couldn’t figure it out.”

Donghyuck’s face falls. “Shit. I didn’t know that.”

“You do that, you know,” Taeil continues, breathing out. “You’re not like Johnny ever was. I don’t know if you know. But he’d make you feel like you knew everything about him. And you’d realize you don’t even know his parent’s names. Or where his hometown is. You don’t though. You don’t lie to me, but you don’t exactly try to hide things either. But you’re honest when I ask. I don’t think anyone has ever tried to figure you out and you’re used to that, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck just stares at him, not saying a word. His mouth falls open slightly after a moment before he blinks and seems to catch himself. It’s then that he narrows his eyes at Taeil suspiciously. “You didn’t mention that you were so smart, Moon.”

Taeil only smiles back placidly at him, going to the cabinet and reaching for another mug for himself. He’s surprised once he feels a presence at his side and Donghyuck’s hand is reaching over to grab the mug he was looking for and handing it to him, which he takes after a moment of hesitation. He turns his head to see Donghyuck merely stepping aside and walking over back to the counter, where his phone rests. Taeil just lets the both of them sit in a silence that almost feels peaceful as he goes to turn on the coffee machine. Until Donghyuck speaks up again.

“I’m getting a divorce.”

The mug in Taeil’s hand slips as he knocks it over in his astonishment. He can only be grateful it’s still empty as Donghyuck continues to speak.

“It’s not just for you. Well, it is partly because of how I feel for you. But still. I’m tired of pretending I can even be in the same room as Mark anymore. I’ve been unhappy for as long as I can remember. I think I’m tired of pretending I can take all of this for my family. I’m sick of it. I watched my brother go through the same thing as me, and I don’t want it to kill me like it’s slowly killing him. You asked me if I loved you. I’m telling you that I do right now, and I think I have ever since I met you, hyung. Last night was the most alive I’ve felt in a long time.”

“Hyuck,” Taeil gasps as he turns around to face him, and he can see that Donghyuck is completely somber. And intent as he stares at Taeil, thoughtful. Like he wasn’t saying he was planning to basically change his whole life.

“It’s true. I think I know now why Johnny didn’t want to let me visit you after those few times we met. I think he’s known all along. Even when I didn’t. But last night—it scared me when you said he tried to get you to take him back. It scared me, Taeil. I know this is a lot to put on you so quick, but I want to be honest. I can’t start this with you and not be honest. You’re important to me.”

Taeil approaches him, hesitant. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he can’t help it. He’s a bit overwhelmed. “I’m important to you?”

“Yes. I don’t know how, but you are. Not to brag, but I am kinda married. I would know if you’re more important to me than Mark.”

God knows why, but Taeil finds himself smiling a little at his attempt to be clever. “Donghyuck, you’re important to me too. But I don’t ever want to wreck anyone’s marriage.”

“What if I said I was rich?” Donghyuck’s voice grows teasing.

“Ha, funny.”

“You’re impossible, hyung. You’re not making it easy to not love you, you know.”

Taeil doesn’t know why that strikes a chord in him, but it does. He thinks it’s the heartfelt way Donghyuck says it.

It’s then that he decides. If this was going to be a thing between them, if Donghyuck wanted something, he wouldn’t be like all of his other past relationships. There was in no way Taeil was ever going back to that life. If he had been in it for the money, he’d have not hesitated in taking back Johnny when he’d been offered that ring. He finds himself steeling a part of him as he stares at Donghyuck, preparing himself. He couldn’t deny the way he felt something for him. It scared him a little inside, how Donghyuck made him feel sometimes. He’d never felt anything like he had before sleeping with him and kissing him. This was it. This is when he’d put all the cards on the table.

“Look, I care for you,” he admits, looking away from the other man ever so slightly. It was hard to confess this sort of thing out loud. “But I can’t be with you if you’re married.”

Donghyuck’s responding silence tells him his words have hit where they’d been intended.

“But if you’re willing to wait,” Taeil continues grudgingly, trying to ignore the way his hands were shaking a little at his side. “I’d like to start something with you too. I’m not saying you have to stop coming here. But you know why I broke up with Johnny. He couldn’t commit and he was a liar. If you’re as serious as you say you are, you know I don’t want that. I want you if you’re going to be in this, Donghyuck.”

The sound of Donghyuck’s throat swallowing is audible in the quiet room. When Taeil lifts his eyes to meet his, he can see the way he’s blinking and taking in what he’s just offered him, a hand of his reaching out to lay on the counter to steady himself. His eyes are flickering back and forth on the countertop as he seems to really ponder over it for a moment.

At last, even Daisy seems to wander into the kitchen and meow pitifully for her breakfast as Donghyuck still stands there. It’s when Taeil sighs and ends up pouring a bag of food into her dish nearby him that he breaks his silence. It has Taeil’s back straightening up from where his cat is eagerly eating to face him.

“I see why my brother wanted you back so badly,” is all Donghyuck says at first, and Taeil’s brows furrow together at him. Really? Was he going to joke about this?

Donghyuck stands back off of the counter against which he was leaning and strolls right over to Taeil, to his surprise. When he pulls one of Taeil’s hands in his, it’s the least of what he expects.

“You know what you want. I can respect that. It’s more than I’ve ever had. Okay. I mean, this scares the shit out of me, but okay. We can wait. I want in on all of you too.”

It’s said with a maturity that Taeil has never quite glimpsed before in him. Donghyuck seems to be strangely confident of himself as he holds his hand and stares at him with an emotion in his eyes that he recognizes from last night. That softness like he was looking at the world before him and it was in Taeil. He’s still dressed in a formal office shirt with silver cuff links gleaming at his wrist, in black fitted slacks and his chestnut hair looked almost adorably messy but he was the Donghyuck that had shown up at his doorstep all that time ago. He was far from perfect, but Taeil found he looked as perfect as he had the first time he’d seen him.

_Pretty_ , his mind thinks automatically with an awed breath. But then it snaps out of it and he realizes what the man in front of him has just said. Has agreed to.

_Have you ever loved anyone before? No._

Taeil can’t help but want to love him even more. Donghyuck was agreeing to wait for something serious with him despite him being the first person he’s ever loved. He was putting his whole heart on the line for someone like Taeil.

The smile that crosses Taeil’s lips is the most genuine one he’s felt in a long time. Even before Johnny.

“Okay. Alright. You better be aware of what you’re getting into, Hyuckie. I’m the one that scared off your big bad brother.”

Donghyuck’s face brightens in a grin. He’s staring at him like he loves him, like Taeil is the most amusing thing he’s ever seen.

“Oh I know. Would it be too late to say you’re still easy on the eyes?”

Taeil lets go of his hand to slap him on the arm. The laugh Donghyuck lets out in return is one of the happiest he’s ever heard in his life.

****

“So who is it?”

“Yeah, are you finally gonna tell us who your mystery man is?”

“Shut up, Yuta! I asked first!”

“I’m older. That means nothing to me.”

Taeil cuts the two of them off with an excited grin, from where his two friends are play fighting with each other in the booth across from him. He smiles at the two of them, thinking that they weren’t not unlike a family sometimes. He laughs and yells at them to settle down and stop with a firm voice.

“Oi, you two! I won’t tell you anything if you kill each other.”

That gets Jungwoo and Yuta to freeze from where they are currently trying to wrestle each other. Both of their heads turn to look at him quickly and once they see the smile on him they separate with the utmost desperation as they’ve been begging to find out who Taeil has been dating for the past few months. It’s been the thing they've been most pleading and nagging him about nonstop, and he’s pretty sure Yuta has been stopping by his place more often for suspicious reasons other than the random ones he claims.

He’s pretty sure they don’t see his hands either from where he’s keeping them laid on his lap under the table.

“Finally,” Yuta sniffs. “I can know which man I have to threaten. It’s about time.”

“You talk big for someone who screams at scary movies,” Jungwoo only says with an eye roll. Then he beams at Taeil. “You were saying, Illie?”

“As I was saying,” Taeil says, laying it on a bit thick with a dramatic sigh. But he can’t keep the wide grin from splitting his face. He really has been waiting a while to tell them. “I wanted to tell you who I’m dating.”

“You’re smiling, so it’s not Johnny,” Yuta replies instantly.

“He’s been cancelling on us lately, too,” Jungwoo joins in. Then he brightens with a sly grin. “I think I know. It’s Kun from the office.”

Taeil only rolls his eyes at the two of them. “No, idiots. It’s someone you’ve never met before.”

This causes his friends to nearly scramble in their seats.

“And _who_ have we never met?”

“You whore! Is he hot?”

Taeil can’t help the giggle that comes out of him. They’re both gaping at him with big eyes.

“It’s a funny story, actually. I’ll tell you one thing: he was almost my brother in law.”

It’s like he’s set off the bombshell of the century. Yuta’s mouth falls open and so does Jungwoo’s, but Jungwoo seems to recover first and piece together what he means.

“You don’t mean—“ He cries out in shock.

“Yes. I’m dating Johnny’s brother.”

_“What?”_ Yuta lets out loudly, almost standing up out of his seat. “Oh my god. How many brothers does this damn man have?”

Jungwoo is just as taken aback as him, but whereas Yuta seems shell shocked his face lights up with excitement. “How?”

Taeil raises his hands up off his lap and onto the table then. He notices the way they both glance at him instinctively only for their gazes to catch on the ring on his finger and for Yuta to let out an utterly shocked noise from his throat. “It just happened. But I’m glad it did. I really do love him. Also, I’m engaged now.”

Once the words are out of his mouth Yuta seems to sag back in his seat against the leather booth and go limp. Jungwoo has been rendered incapable of speaking, having gone still and sitting there in pure shock. After a long pause, he blinks and slaps Yuta impatiently beside him as he appears to regain his senses. “Yuta!”

Taeil frowns slightly, a little worried that maybe he’s almost killed his best friend. “Did I lay it on a little thick?”

With a dramatic gasp Yuta straightens back up in his seat. “And where was I when he proposed?” Is the first thing that comes out of his mouth in a demanding cry, and Taeil gapes at him.

“I—Donghyuck only proposed last night,” he stutters out.

“Oh, Donghyuck, now is it?” Yuta seems to come to life with the name. He smirks, and Taeil groans a little under his breath. He knew he’d regret telling Yuta about him when it came to the teasing.

“How did he propose? Where is he, is he coming here to meet us?” Jungwoo asks curiously.

Taeil smiles at that a little bit. “Yeah he is. I’ll tell you the story when he gets here. He’s running a bit late with a company meeting. But he does want to meet you guys. I think you’ll love him.”

“I’d say,” Jungwoo replies warmly, at last laughing softly. “Taeil, I’ve never seen you look so happy. Anyone that makes you smile this much we’ll definitely be happy to meet.”

“Really?” Taeil feels a little hopeful. He knew he was springing it on his friends with no warning. But he and Donghyuck had been dating for almost eight months now, ever since the divorce had been finalized quickly with an expensive lawyer on Donghyuck’s behalf. Maybe it was a little foolish to rush so quickly into an engagement, but he’d never felt as confident or as contented in his life as he did with Donghyuck, who practically lived in his apartment now. He'd even met some of his family already—he'd been introduced to his other brother Taeyong, even his mother. It was a little scary, but he had kept his friends in the dark about his boyfriend because it was all still so new and he hadn’t been sure at first whether they would work out. But it’d never been as easy as it was dating Donghyuck. Especially since he was more than definitely in love with him.

After Johnny, he had wanted to play things safe. But with Donghyuck, he’s starting to be a little relieved that his friends seem so eager to accept him.

“Yeah, about time,” Yuta tells him with fondness. “I was wondering why you kept him from us for so long. You usually bring your boyfriends around us. This one must be special.”

Taeil’s lips quirk into a private smile at that. He laughs a little, if only because it reminds him of another time long ago. “He is. I really think he is. He’s not like anyone you’ve ever met.”

His finger traces around the edge of his engagement ring, and it centers him. Reminds him of when Donghyuck had proudly showed it off to him like he’d been more excited to propose than even Taeil was. _I’ve never done a real proposal before_ , he’d confessed while he’d been down on one knee, nervous and staring up at him. _So if you’re going to say no, please don’t say it’s because the ring is ugly._

Even now, Taeil doesn’t know how he found himself with such a man.

Just then, the sound of the bell to the front entrance going off gets Taeil’s attention and his head pokes up at the noise. He feels his heart rise a little in his chest at Donghyuck’s familiar figure who is strolling through the door, a phone raised to his ear as he smiles easily, eyes trailing over to their table and settling on Taeil with recognition. He’s in a black suit still from work, and he’s just setting down his phone in his pocket as he reaches their table.

“You’re late,” Taeil can’t help but tell him right as he reaches within earshot, but it comes out fondly. He watches as his friends stand up beside him to greet Donghyuck, who smiles at them charmingly even if Taeil can spot the telltale nervous gleam in his eyes.

“Sorry, business meetings are the fucking worst,” Donghyuck replies back to him, his warm gaze turning apprehensive as he turns to face Yuta and Jungwoo who only stand there looking him over with the clear intent of intimidating him. It makes Taeil want to roll his eyes.

“So you’re Johnny’s brother?” Yuta asks, putting on a threatening face he reserved for people he didn’t like and when he felt bold. Taeil doesn’t fall for it. He’s always tried to act big and bold for all of his boyfriends. “You have a lot of nerve after how Johnny treated him, you know.”

“Yeah, how do we know you’re not just like him?” Jungwoo adds in, having crossed his arms.

To his credit, Donghyuck only blinks at them before startling in a laugh. “Oh wow. You two really are Taeil’s friends, aren’t you?”

“The one and only,” Yuta brags. “I beat up anyone who’s ever hurt him. Your brother is still on my shit list.”

“Isn’t Taeil older than you though?”

Before Taeil can get up and try to intervene, fearing Donghyuck’s comment would only mean trouble, Yuta only cracks and lets out a laugh as he stares down Donghyuck considerably. Then he reaches out a hand to him, grinning. “That he is. I’m Yuta. And you’re the man we’ve been hearing about.”

“Is that so, huh? I’m Donghyuck. It’s great to finally meet you,” his fiancée returns back to him gladly, taking his hand and shaking it firmly. He looks relieved and interested in Yuta before him as they bow at each other in greeting, turning to Jungwoo and introducing himself as well. Jungwoo takes his hand with a sweet smile, and Donghyuck turns to Taeil afterwards with hidden relief in his eyes and an arched eyebrow. “You never said you told your friends about me, babe.”

Taeil pulls him down into the booth by him, and his friends follow suit in the corner of his eye. He just leans into Donghyuck for a kiss, smiling when it warms him and Donghyuck’s hand tangles into his under the table easily. When he pulls back, he just looks away from Donghyuck who is staring at him curiously and back to his friends. He smiles a little, at all the people he loves together finally. If Taeil had ever had a family, this was the closest he’d ever get to introducing Donghyuck to them.

“I did. I told them how you fell for me at first sight.”

Donghyuck chokes beside him.

**Author's Note:**

> i might write an extra chapter of haechan's pov or an epilogue, i'm still debating on it :) thanks for reading!! ♡


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